On Discipleship (Holy Week Reflection)

My least favorite question to be asked by another Christian is, "So, what is God doing in your life?" I don't know. I never know the answer to that question, and in the circles where that question is asked, "I don't know" never feels like a good answer.

At the beginning of the year, someone asked me if God led me to Boulder. Again, I don't know. I didn't really pray a lot about my decision, I just kind of made it. Regular prayer (other than at meal times) or Bible reading just never seems appealing. It's not that I don't believe that I should strive towards discipline and a more "Christ-like" walk. It's just that somehow it all feels dead. Why do some people feel like they hear God speak to them when they pray, and I've never felt like I've heard a whisper of a reply? It is easy to echo Christian sentiments when at church or when surrounded by other Christians, but it seems impossible to live them.

Let this verse, then, be my mantra:

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Mark 9:24 (context)