James 4:8 (context)
"Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."
So often I pray, and feel I go unanswered. As though I'm praying to a void, an empty place where God used to be. I cannot help but feel like this verse is saying it is because I am not really reaching out to God. I pray when I need something, but I don't spend time with him. How can I expect him to be near me if I don't come to him? I seem to be one of the double-minded -- I say I want to be near him, to be a faithful follower, but I don't make time for prayer, or Bible study, or anything more than a Sunday church service and my small group. How can I call myself Christian and yet lead a life so far removed from what I am called to do? Why is it that prayer and Bible study so often feel dead to me? Why is doing what I should be doing so often just a feeling of going through the motions?
I envy those with rock-solid faith. There's a girl (woman?) in my small group who expresses an absolute faith and trust in God. I know she has trouble, and moments of weakness, as she shares them with us, but I truly wish I had just an ounce of her faith. It was so easy as a child, even into my later teens. Why does it grow so much harder to maintain each year now?
